Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
