I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
