I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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