Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
