i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
is that a dick in a sweater?
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
