i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
this beer tastes like vomit already
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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