Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Randomize
