I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
