I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
