Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
