can we get nightvision for the apartment?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
