some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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