I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
