Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
