I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
