So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
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