I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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