Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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