Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
did i just pee glitter
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
