They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I am never drinking with the goths again.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
