Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
