No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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