he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
