Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
