we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
