Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize