fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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