i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
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