Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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