Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
