Having a random hookup so left but love u
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
