My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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