yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
