dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
