what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
