I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
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