Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
