Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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