He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
