Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
