he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
