With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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