I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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