respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
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