i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
