You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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