hotel room ftw
Kiss
Puke
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
