He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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