ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
