I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize