She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
