My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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