Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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