Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
