Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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