I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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