Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
