remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
