Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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