So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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