She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I just googled if crying burns calories
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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