I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
