i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
